The Wolf and the Flame

Victoria sat crossed legged on a rock at the edge of a lake in a forest outside of Vancouver. She stared out at the water, her almost black eyes tracing the waves that formed in front of her. She concentrated on erasing all of her senses: to not feel or be aware of anything around her. This was her usual exercise before a hunt.

She would stare blankly ahead of her, not seeing anything. She would stop breathing, halting the intensity of all the flowing blood in all of the creatures around her. She would remove her power of hearing, letting all of the sounds around her merge into nothingness. She wouldn’t move a muscle, letting her skin and nerves numb themselves from all the sensations that they came into contact with. She would remove herself from the world, retreating deep into the caverns and passage ways of her mind.

She preferred it that way.

She only put up her ferocious front for James. She hoped that he would think higher of her if he thought her more like him. And Victoria wanted desperately to be more like James. To be strong and beautiful in the way that he was.

He barely ever touched her, but when he did, it felt like ecstasy for his hands to be on her skin. She loved to feel the muscles of his arms wrapping around her far too few times. She adored the way that he captured his pray, the way he would over power them and sink his teeth into their skin. She had a hard enough time resisting him under normal circumstances, but to seem him like that made it almost unbearable.

And he was so beautiful. So much more than she could ever be. She felt her knees go weak whenever his dirty blonde hair fell into his blood red eyes. If she had had a living heart, it would have beaten a tattoo into her chest whenever her eyes grazed his face; the masculine jaw with the softer nose and prominent cheek bones sent her imagination into overload. And his body. The rippling muscles that were barely hidden beneath his black button down shirts and his jeans. It was amazing that Victoria found the will power to stay away from him at all.

She sighed, letting the feeling of hopelessness that usually accompanied any of her thought about James. She knew how powerful her love for him was, but he never seemed to notice. Not that she tried to impress him, the way that she knew every other girl on the face of the earth would, but she did try to please him. She did try to make him happy.

“But it’s never enough.” She whispered to herself, so quietly that no one, not even a vampire, could have made out what she had said.

It wasn’t that James ignored her; it wasn’t as if he hated her. In fact, James was very kind to her. He never yelled at her or hit her. He had only praise for her. But Victoria did not see this as a good thing, a thing that she should savor. No, she only saw the things that he didn’t say and the things that he didn’t do.

He never ran his fingers through her hair for no reason. He never wrapped his arms around her when they had to hide out in caves. He never whispered sweet nothings in her ears. He was never romantic with her; so much more of a Mercutio than a Romeo. He called her Vicki when he did address her. He always kept his hands to himself if he could.

That didn’t sound like the kind of person that would be in love.

Victoria sighed again and went back to concentrating on her escape. Before she could disable her senses properly, a small sound broke through her walls of concentration. Victoria swiveled her head to the right, seeing a small wolf at her feet. It barked a little bark again. It only seemed curious of her, not afraid as any other animal would.

“What do you want? I’m busy.” The wolf cocked its head to the side as if to ask ‘Why?’ She sighed again.

“I’m thinking, if you must know.” The wolf turned its head again.

“I’m thinking of him.” The wolf laid down on its front legs, its body spread out on the sand and the rocks of the lake shore.

“I’m thinking of if he is pleased with me; with who I am.” The wolf’s mouth twitched and his head fell onto his front legs.

“Why?” Her eyes went back to the water. “I love him. But I don’t know if he loves me.” The wolf snorted. Victoria’s head whipped around to glare at the wolf. “You’re a wolf! What would you know about love?” She heard the wolf give a little whine of apology. She reached down with her right hand and began to scratch behind the wolf’s ears.

“I’m sorry, it’s just that, I love him so much, but he only seems to see me as a friend.” She continued scratching, the wolf pressing its head against her fingers. “Not that I blame him.” The wolf’s head stiffened a bit.

“I mean, look at me. I have hair the color of a penny, skin that looks like I grew up in Antarctica, and I’m too slow, too weak and too stupid. Why would anyone love me?”

The wolf picked itself up and laid it’s head on her lap, as if trying to console her.

“Do you think that he loves me?” she asked of the small animal. It smiled at her in agreement. Victoria smiled and rubbed its head and back, laughing with it as it rolled around in the sand. She gently wrestled with it until she was on her knees and face to face with the wolf. “Do you really think that he could love me, little friend?” The wolf pressed its nose to hers, signaling its affirmation. Victoria smiled again as the wolf ran off towards the woods. She pulled herself back up onto the rock.

She stared out at the water, giving up on trying to detach herself all together. She had lulled herself into a sort of dreamlike state when she heard the crunch of rock behind her. Her head whipped around in terror.

“James.” She whimpered. The god that held her heart stood behind her, hands in his pockets, the wind tousling his hair, looking as if he had never seen her before.

“I’ve never seen you so…gentle.” He said simply, a strange emotion that Victoria could not quite place dancing though his eyes. She bowed her head, ashamed of herself.

“I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. I promise.” She looked down at her hands, waiting for him to scold her, or even hit her. Neither came. “How long have you been standing there?” she asked, terrified.

“Long enough.” His voice floated to her, signaling that he was moving closer to her, very slowly. Victoria turned her body so that she was sitting in her original position again. She sat and waited for James’ anger to crash upon her like a wave that lay before her. It never came.

A pair of arms wrapped around her stomach, pulling her into the man behind her. A voice that rang with hurt whispered gently in her ear.

“Do you really believe that I don’t care for you?” James’ long fingers ran through her hair and his nose traced along her neck, breathing in her scent. His sudden show of passion caught her off guard, and she blurted out the truth without a thought.

“Yes, I know that you don’t care for me in the way that I care for you. I’m absolutely sure of it. You’re so wonderful and I’m so plain and horrible. Why on earth would you ever love me?” James sighed and then laughed quietly. Victoria turned to stare at him in amazement. “What is it about me bearing my soul that you find so amusing?” James stopped smiling.

“Nothing.” He bowed his head, his arms still holding her tight to him. When he looked up again, Victoria gasped at the amount of pain that radiated from his eyes. He lifted a hand to caress the skin at her cheek.

“It’s just that I think the same of you, love.” His fingers ran through her hair and over her lips with a gentleness that Victoria had thought beyond him. The sudden change in his nature was causing her head to spin.

“What are you talking about, James?” she asked. James said nothing, taking her hands in his. His thumbs rubbed against her skin, making small circles in the back of her hand. After several minutes of silence, Victoria leaned forward. “Please, James.” She begged. “Please tell me.”

James raised his eyes to look into hers.

“It just kills me,” he began, “to hear you say all those things about yourself. How you claim to not be capable of love or adoration. How you think that you’re not completely gorgeous, when really you are the most beautiful creature that I have ever set eyes on.” He laid his head on Victoria’s shoulder, his arms back around her waist. Victoria lifted a hand to run her fingers through his hair.

“What are you saying?” she asked, hardly daring to believe what she thought he was saying. James laughed softly again.

“Am I really that incompetent that I can’t tell you that I love you properly?” James tensed, waiting for her reaction. Oh, Victoria, my love, if only you knew how much I needed you. He thought. Victoria blinked twice, thinking that she must have heard wrong.

“Are you just telling me this to make me feel better? Because if you are-,” James silenced her with a kiss. Victoria could only sit there for a few seconds, shocked at the position that she had found herself in. She had been going through a perfectly normal day, and now she was in the arms of the god-like man that she loved. And he was kissing her. She wasn't kissing him. He was kissing her.

By the time that she came to this realization, James had given up on proving himself and had pulled back from her. Victoria wasn’t having any of that. She grabbed a hold of his collar and pulled him roughly to her lips. James was shocked that she would react this way; the only thing he had expected from her was a soft smile and a laugh. He had thought that she would think that he was joking.

And yet here she was, kissing him with wild abandon, grabbing at anything that she could reach, trying to bring him closer. They were a blur of teeth, limbs and lips. James pulled Victoria from her perch onto the hard ground to hold her as close as possible. His fingers tangled them selves in her wild hair, cementing her body to his. She reveled in his touch, saving the feeling and taste of his lips on hers. James pulled his face away for hers to look into her eyes.

Both of them were panting and gasping for air, although they had no need for it. James buried his face into the crook of her neck, kissing the patch of skin between her neck and her shoulder. Victoria moved her face so that she could whisper in his ear.

“What brought all of this on?” The breath from James’ laugh tickled her neck.

“Are you blind? I’ve always loved you.”

“No you haven’t.” James lifted his face to look at her again, shock plastered over his features.

“What are you talking about, love?”

“Well, you always ignore me. You never touch me, or seem to think of me as anything but an associate. None of those things suggests any feelings of love on your side.” James cast his eyes downward as he spoke.

“Yes, I admit that I haven’t been open with my emotions, but I just always thought that…you…would…” he paused, uncertain of whether or not to continue, lest it should upset Victoria.

“What? What could you possibly think that I would do to you if I knew? It really can’t be as horrible as you’re making it out to be.” James opened and closed his mouth several times before finally speaking.

“I thought that you would laugh at me. That you would think me a foolish, love sick child who wanted something that he could never have. So I kept my feelings for you inside of me, keeping as far away from you as I could and still be your friend. I was terrified that if I touched you that I wouldn’t be able to stop. I barely spoke because I didn’t trust my voice to behave itself. I started driving myself mad, thinking of what you would say if you ever knew.

“Mostly it involved a lot of laughter and patronizing.” James sighed again, waiting for the laughter that he was sure would come to slay his undead heart.

Victoria looked at James, horrified at the emotions that she had been causing in him. She nuzzled her face into his cheek, trying to heal him of his worries.

“Why on earth would you think that I would do such a horrible thing to you?” she asked, and heard James laugh again.

“You silly creature. You truly don’t know how wonderful you are, do you?” he smiled and brushed a stray hair from Victoria’s face. “You bewitch me, you evil temptress. The way your hair flies behind you when you run. The way your eyes dart when you spot new prey. The creaminess of your skin and the glorious body that it covers.” James groaned. “How could I not love you? I love everything about you. The way you laugh when you think I’m not looking. How peaceful you look when you pretend to sleep. How you find the ability to put up with me when all I want is to find it in myself to be kind, like you.” It was Victoria’s turn to laugh.

“Turn a few of the names and words around, and you basically have my entire confession to the wolf. I desire to have the ferocity that you possess with effortless ease. I hate being so weak.”

“Kindness and gentleness is not weakness, Victoria.” James said, speaking her full name very carefully. “I would kill to have those qualities. In fact, that seems to be all that I am good for.”

“Ah, but you have no idea how alluring that is, you silly man.”

“You are attracted to my violence?” he spit the word out as if he hated it. Victoria bit back her retort as she saw the self-loathing in his eyes.

“Well, it’s not as if you can help it, love. Hunting and tracking are part of who you are. And I love you for it.” she stared simply. James’s eyes lit up at her words.

“And I love you for all of your kindness and gentleness. And for how you talk to random wolves when you think I’m not around.” He kissed her nose lovingly. For several minutes (or it could have been hours, or even days; neither of them were sure) the pair of newfound lovers just stayed by the shore of the lake, staring into each others eyes. James had wrapped his arms around her waist, and Victoria had slipped her arms around his neck, creating a circuit that neither wanted to break.

But they had to; they had to hunt and feed and live on. James rose first, holding out his hand for Victoria to take. She stared at him, unsure of what to do; she still hadn’t worked out whether she had been dreaming or not. A look of pain and panic crossed James’s face. Maybe she doesn’t want me after all. He thought in horror, unaware that that very possibility was running around Victoria’s mind as well.

Victoria lifted her soft hand and grasped his rough one, and he pulled her up in one, swift movement into his arms. He bent his head so that he could kiss her neck, nipping the skin very gently with his teeth. Her fingers twisted into the fabric of his shirt, pulling his closer still.

“I love you, Victoria. You have completed the part of me that I never knew that I was missing until I met you. I shall always love you, my little flame.”

“And I you, James, my wily wolf. You have completed me as well. I shall never be parted from you, for as long as I live.”

“Never; for as long as we both shall live.”

The pair of them shared a tender kiss and James put Victoria down on the ground, setting her on her feet. They both looked towards the woods, smelling a few stray humans not ten miles away. Victoria looked at James out of the corner of her eye. James found that he loved the playful glint that sparkled in his love’s eyes.

“Race you for first pick.” She spat hurridly as she ran towards the woods, a blur of black, white and red. James let out a cry of happiness and flew after her.

The pair of them forgot the campers in their joy. They only ran and laughed at each other, never to be parted.

For the rest of their lives.

Fin